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How do you handle pride?

Fri 02 July 2010

, Alberta Opoku, LEAP

“Self-development means taking a closer look at yourself. It’s so easy to tell a jolly story about renewal and growth. But let’s look at the character traits we all have but nobody wants to talk about: pride, envy, anger," Karin Jironet exclaims. 

“Aren’t we by now strong enough to talk about these negative emotions?,” Karin Jironet challenged the audience at the LEAP Energy event on 15th June. “Let’s start with pride. According to Dante pride is the basic feeling that hinders people from excelling.”

Vulnerable

“You find pride in people who are over-performers. They need to be on top of things and tend to be extremely sensitive to criticism. You’ll find that if you criticize an over-performer, they’ll push you away. They dislike any form of vulnerability, so it’s not to safe to criticise over-performers,” Karin warns.

Mirror mirror

“We all remember the queen in the fairy tale Snow white always asking ‘mirror, mirror on the wall…’ She couldn’t relax until she’s had the confirmation that she’s the prettiest of the land. This isn’t to say that proud people are isolated. Of course we all feel proud every now and then. Having the feeling is one thing, but how you respond to it is vital.”

‘Flip over the charts’

Bea Haring, partner at Ernst & Young, couldn’t agree with Karin more, she says. “When I was appointed partner, almost 11 years ago, only 1 percent of the partners were female. So this wasn’t only a new role and experience to me, but also to the other predominantly male partners. In the beginning, they would often ask: what’s your role here? I used to say: ‘what do you mean. I’m also a partner, just like you.’
But as time went by, I replied: ‘I’m here to flip over the charts.’ And that turned out to be a good icebreaker. Of course, things are different now,” Bea laughs reassuringly.

Big difference

The audience proves Bea right. One attendee said: “The men didn’t know how to act either. I don’t think they intended to not take you serious, they were just insecure. And you letting go of your pride and making jokes about it and not taking the matter too seriously made a big difference, I’m sure.”